HOUSE BOY:

Bakari is a house boy who every day drinks the wine of his Boss and puts water in the bottle to replace what he drank. But the Boss having suspicions as for the quality of the wine, he decides to buy pastis (a French wine that changes colour if you add water).

Bakari as usual, takes a mouthful and add water to replace what he drank However, soon after he added water the pastis became milky.

When the Boss came back and noticed it, he was sure he had managed to nail Bakari as thief!!! At that same moment Bakari realized he was in trouble and decided to go into the kitchen.

The Boss told his wife that 'Mary, you will see today, he will be obliged to acknowledge'. So he calls Bakari.

He shouted: 'Bakari!'.
Bakari answered: 'Yes, Boss'.
Boss: 'Who drank my pastis?'.
No answer.
The Boss reiterated his question: 'Who drank my wine?'Still;
No answer.
Then the Boss went to fetch Bakari from the kitchen and says to him:
You insane or what? Why when I call you, you say yes boss' but when I ask you a question you don't answer me?

Bakari retorted that 'It is that boss, when you are in the kitchen there, you don't hear anything at all, except the name.

Then to prove that Bakari lies, the Boss says to him: 'You stay beside Madam here, me I go in the kitchen, and you ask me a question '. Bakari accepted and the Boss went in the kitchen.

Bakari shouted: 'Boss'.
He answered: 'Yes, Bakari'.
Bakari continued: 'Who goes in the maid bedroom when the Madam is not here? '.
No answer.
Bakari shouted again: 'Boss, I say who made the maid pregnant?'
No answer.
Bakari shouted again (third time): 'Boss, I say who made the maid pregnant?'

The Boss returns from the kitchen running and says, Bakari; it is true, you are right. When one is in the kitchen, one does not hear anything, only the name!

A Dwarf At The Urinal

A guy is standing at a urinal when he notices that he's
being watched by a midget. Although the little fellow
is staring at him intently, the guy doesn't get
uncomfortable until the midget drags a small stepladder up next to him, climbs it, and proceeds to admire his privates at close range.

"Wow!" comments the midget. "Those are the nicest balls I have ever seen!"

Surprised and flattered-the man thanks the midget and
starts to move away.

"Listen, I know this is a rather strange request,"
says the little fellow, "but I wonder if you would mind if
I touched them?"

Again the man is rather startled, but seeing no real
harm in it, he obliges the request.

The midget reaches out, gets a tight grip on the
man's balls, and says, "Okay, hand over your wallet or I'll
jump!"

=====
Today is ours tomorrow is not promised,
so live, love, and laugh while you can!
*smile*

At times i sit and wonder why people fall in love? can anybody out there tell me the answer?

The Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting (CHOGM) is a biennial summit meeting of the heads of government from all Commonwealth nations. Every two years the meeting is held in a different member state, and is chaired by that nation's respective Prime Minister or President. Most meetings include an appearance by Queen Elizabeth II who is the Head of the Commonwealth.

Queen Elizabeth II  visited Uganda in 1953 when she opened the Owen falls dam at the source of River Nile. CHOGM took place in Kampala, Uganda from 23rd to 25th November 2007 and was chaired by President Museveni and attended by Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth ll. It is a milestone to our country and Ugandans at large.  I pass on good wishes to his excellency Yoweri Museveni for this Historical event.

What is all about this thing called commonwealth countries? i hear Queen Elizabeth II is coming to Uganda. by the way do you know the meaning of commonwealth? The term literally meant "common well-being". Commonwealth originally meant a state or nation-state governed for the common good as opposed to an authoritarian state governed for the benefit of a given class of owners (//en.wikipedia.org).

Commonwealth of Nations

Is a voluntary association of 53 independent sovereign states, most of which are former British colonies (the exceptions being the United Kingdom itself and Mozambique).

Life sucks and happiness eludes us, and what few moments of pleasure we get only show us how empty and meaningless the rest of our existance truly is.

You wake up early in the morning, board a taxi to go to work. you board another taxi to reach the place of work, however before you at place of work the so called boss calls on the cell phone that disembark the taxi and comeback to head office, there is an agent work to be done, transport will be provided for. on reaching Head office, the boss tells you that you late and the work was assigned to another person. what a mess after wasting the time and money, you know moving from this vehicle to the other. there people who can make your life very difficult anyway. Bosses at times can frustrate and stress you.

Hey any comment you guys out there? i am really fed up with disorganised so calld bosses

The best way to be happier at work is to take personal responsibility for your workplace well-being. Any job can be better than it is right now.

Here are four ways you can improve your job instead of relying on your boss or your company to change:

1. Make a friend at work.

People with one friend at work are much more likely to find their work interesting. And people with three friends at work are virtually guaranteed to be very satisfied with their life, according to extensive research from Gallup published in the book "Vital Friends" by Tom Rath. These findings are independent of what a person's job entails, and what their home life is like.

On one level, this isn't surprising. We're better equipped to deal with hardship if we have friends near us, and we have more fun when we're with friends. So a friend allows us to deal with the ups and downs of work much more easily.

We often think of work and life as separate, and consequently fortify our home life with friends. But we need different friends for different contexts. Having someone you can count on at work to care about you and understand you feeds your soul in a way that used to apply only at home.

Of course, once you have this information, you have to figure out the most effective ways to make friends at work. Because friends don't just materialize in your cubicle -- you need to cultivate them.

2. Decrease your commute time by moving closer to work.

More than three million people have a commute that lasts more than 90 minutes. Many of them justify this commute by saying that their job is worth it, or that it allows them to have a bigger house. But the commute may be doing them great harm at home and at work.

Humans can adjust to almost any amount of bad news, according to Harvard psychologist Daniel Gilbert. In his book "Stumbling on Happiness," he shows that we think losing a limb will be terrible, but in fact we adjust to it pretty well. In fact, in the long run it generally doesn't affect our level of happiness.

A commute is different, though. It's impossible to adjust to because the way in which it's bad changes every day. So the tension of not knowing what will be bad, and when it will be bad, and not being able to control those things, means we're unable to use our outstanding mental abilities to adjust.

Here's the clincher, though: Even though people tell themselves it won't happen to them, a bad commute spills over into the rest of the day for almost everyone. If you have a bad commute on the way to work and you walk into the office in a bad mood, that's the mood you're likely to have all day. And if you have a bad commute on the way home, you'll probably still be grouchy by the time you go to bed.

3. Know when it's not about your job.

I'm not certain whether this is good news or bad news, but the connection between your job and your happiness is overrated. In general, the kind of work you do isn't going to have huge bearing on whether you're happy or not.

To be sure, your work can make you unhappy (see No. 2 above, for example), but work isn't going to give you the key to the meaning of life or anything like that.

Still, you can do a quick check to make sure you have a job that's good for you. A good job:

• Stretches you without defeating you

• Provides clear goals

• Provides unambiguous feedback

• Provides a sense of control

If you have these things in your job and you're still not happy, it's not your job -- it's you.

So maybe it's time to start looking inside yourself to figure out what's wrong, instead of blaming everything on your job. I'm a big fan of getting help when you feel stuck. Sure, we can all get ourselves through life, but it's often easier to get where you want to be faster if you have someone to help you overcome your barriers.

To this end, you need to know if you need a career coach or a shrink. And if your job meets the criteria on the above list, you could probably use help from a mental health professional in order to find ways to get happier.

4. Do good deeds.

Help people. Be kind. Don't think about what you get in return. Just be nice. In this way, you can make the world a better place in the job you have right now.

Take personal responsibility for your happiness during the day, and do things that make you feel good. You've heard a lot of this before. If you go to the gym, your mood will get better (and your mind will be sharper). If you eat healthy food, you feel better than if you go to McDonald's for lunch. And if you do random acts of kindness, you get as much out of it as the person you're being kind to.

But most importantly, stop looking for your work to give your life meaning. The meaning of life is in your relationships. Cultivate them. A good job is a nice thing to have, but only in the context of larger meaning.

If you're happy outside of work, where you don't rely on your boss or your company, then finding happiness at work will be that much easier.

Windows XP's MS-DOS Editor, commonly referred to simply as Edit, has features similar to Notepad, as well as additional features such as the ability to work with multiple text files and change the background and text colors. Since Edit is a DOS-based application, you can easily configure it to work just like a Windows application

Windows XP comes with another text editor besides Notepad — it’s called the MS-DOS Editor, and it’s commonly referred to simply as Edit. It has features similar to Notepad, as well as additional features such as the ability to work with multiple text files and change the background and text colors. Since Edit is a DOS-based application, you can easily configure it to work just like a Windows application. Here’s how:

1. Use Windows Explorer to locate the Edit.com file in the \Windows\System32 folder.

2. Right-click the file, drag it to your desktop, and select the Create Shortcut(s) Here command from the Shortcut menu.

3. Right-click the Shortcut icon and select the Properties command from the Shortcut menu.

4. Choose the Program tab and select the Close On Exit check box.

5. Click OK to finish.

Now you can double-click the Shortcut icon to launch Edit. When you’re done using it, you can close it by clicking the Close button in the upper-right corner or by using the Exit command on the File menu.

5 e-mail habits that waste time and cause problems "TechRepublic blogger Calvin Sun writes:

Few communications tools give you as much exposure as e-mail. Unfortunately, mistakes in your e-mail will receive that same exposure as well. Depending on who sees your e-mail, your job, reputation, or career could suffer. Fortunately, avoiding these mistakes is easy. Here are five e-mail habits that annoy me (and maybe you as well), and what you can do differently. I

#1: Vague or nonexistent subject line

Professor Woodward, who taught me contracts last year at Temple University Beasley School of Law, gave me one of the most useful pieces of advice I have ever received. “When arguing a case,” he often said, “make it easy for the judge to rule in your favor.”

Apply that same principle to e-mail. That is, make it easy for recipients to know what your message is about. If you’re like most people, you have an in-basket that summarizes your incoming messages, probably by date, sender, and subject. Don’t you love it when you can get the information you need simply from the subject line? The sender has made it easy for you and has saved you time.

On the other hand, how often have you received an e-mail without a subject or one that’s labeled, for example, “Phone number you requested.” Why couldn’t the sender have said, right in the subject line, “The phone number is xxx-xxx-xxxx”?

When sending an e-mail that concerns a particular person, give details in the subject line, along with the name. For example, if Joe Brown has been promoted, make your subject line “Joe Brown has been promoted.” Do not use only the name as the subject. If you send out an e-mail with just the subject “Joe Brown,” recipients may mistakenly believe that Mr. Brown has passed on.

In the event you do need to tr 3e74 ansmit such sad news, be explicit. For example, say “Joe Brown RIP” or “Passing of Joe Brown” or “Joe Brown [year of birth] - [year of death].”

#2: Changing the topic without changing the subject

Have you ever read an advertisement for an item that’s on sale, then gone to the store only to discover that that item is sold out? By law, the store has to give you a rain check, because of abuses in the past. In the old days, the store would simply try to sell you something else instead, a practice known as “bait and switch.”

E-mail users employ bait and switch all too often, usually out of laziness. For example, you send a note to a co-worker about subject 1. That co-worker later needs to send a note to you on subject 2. However, instead of creating a new note and labeling it “subject 2,” he or she simply replies to you, discusses subject 2, but keeps the subject line as “subject 1.” Annoying, isn’t it? When you send e-mail, make sure the subject line matches the actual subject. If you’re going to send a note via a reply, change the subject line to match the actual subject.

A few months ago, during a period of really cold weather, a neighbor sent an e-mail to all the residents of our development regarding a neighborhood telephone directory, and titled it “neighborhood directory.” A half hour later, I received a reply-to-all message from another neighbor with the subject “Re: neighborhood directory.” When I accidentally clicked on that message, I read that the sender’s heater had broken and that he was asking to borrow blankets and kerosene heaters. He did get what he needed and did later get his heater fixed. However, had he given his note a better subject heading, he might have had a faster response.

#3: Including multiple subjects in one note

Covering multiple topics in one note involves less sending and hence less e-mail traffic and volume. However, your recipient might overlook one or more of those topics. It’s better to keep to one topic per message.

#4: Sending before thinking

When you were small, your mother probably told you to count to three before responding to someone (mine told me to count to 10). Why did she say that? She knew that answering before thinking can lead to problems.

Make sure you really mean to say what you’ve written. People can interpret your words differently from what you meant. A statement made in jest to someone via e-mail may have a greater chance of being misinterpreted than one made in person. Also, be careful about reacting and replying too quickly to an e-mail that upsets you. As Proverbs 12:16 says, “A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult.”

I’ll talk more about it in a future article, but legal implications offer another reason to think before sending. E-mail can be subject to “discovery” by attorneys for a party that might be suing your employer. That is, the things you write in your e-mail could end up in the hands of those attorneys and could be used as evidence against your company in a trial. So before you send an e-mail, imagine that you’re on a witness stand having to explain it.

#5: Inadvertent replying to all

Before hitting Reply To All, make sure you really need to do so. Does everyone need to see your response? Does your response benefit everyone else? Or are you sending merely a private response or addressing a personal issue with the sender? In these situations, it’s better just to do a simple Reply. Otherwise, your private disagreement becomes public (and embarrassing) knowledge.

Be aware that if you receive a message because you’re part of certain message groups (e.g., a Yahoo group), your reply might go to everyone in the group even if you just hit Reply.

Do you recognize yourself in any of these mistakes? The good news is that once you recognize these issues, it’s easy to address them.

The horse stable is a place where they keep the horses. there is where they train the horses and at times people ranging from 5-99 years go for horse lessons. the accident happened to one of the visitor's (tourists)kid (the kid was black and the rest of the family was white (may be adopted). the kid was riding the horse and it happened by mistake made the horse to run faster, that is where the problem came. the horse ran faster the threw the kid down. oooh my God the my heart skipped a bit, i thought the kid is dedi. the mother picked her and started consoling her. ha the paparazzis, missed the golden chance to report the incident. i wish i had a camera i would have made good news and the papers would have sold.

SAFETY.
On the issue of safety, the resort is doing badly, if i was to give marks, i would have given them 20%. You go to the toilet you will not find there condoms (ha ha ha ha dont laugh)

The fire extinguishers are nowhere to be seen. for instance, you cannot see the extinguishers hanged in the corridors in most of the hotel premises.

GLANCED IN THE KITCHEN.

have you ever glanced in the kitchens of the most big hotels?